Whisky Tango Foxtrot!

Yea, the title says it all. Wow, that was some reaction on my Facebook page when I announced starting this blog. For those of you who didn't witness the debate there, basically an old friend (and I use that title loosely) pretty much called me a liar when I mentioned that I have ptsd, and that I "hide it well". She was more or less one of these people who seem to think that only soldiers can be diagnosed with it. What's even more sad (sadder?), she thought that just because I don't go around announcing it or wearing it tattooed on my forward like a label, that I can't possibly have it.
Well, my friends there had my back and tore her a new one. I don't mean to sound cruel, but I loved it lol. I mean, how cool is it that my friends were there for me and support me in this.

If I have to point out one of THE most important things to have on the road to recovery, have a support group! Whether that's close friends or a group of people who deal with it too. You're not alone, and you shouldn't be alone. Even if the causes are different, symptoms and suffering can be the same. Talk to someone, don't store it inside! Guys, I know its hard for some of you, we're taught by society that you're not a real man if you talk about feelings or don't have it all together. Fuck that! You're human! And no matter how tough you are, or you think you are, we all need help at some point. We can't do it alone. That goes for all of you, not just the men.. I know there are some women out there who suffer in silence thinking "no one will understand" or "I have to be strong for ____".  I think it's admirable to be there for family and friends, but if you can't take of yourself, what good are you to them??

Getting Help for Mental Illness

VA Caregiver Support

Ok, off my soap box. I know this is supposed to be about me and my experiences and so on, but you know what, that is me. I care about people (depending on who you ask lol). I don't want to see anyone suffering. Mental illness is not something to be ashamed of. It's real, and its a disability that can affect you physically as well. I know!! One more thing and I'll get off this... it sickens me to hear people say "Oh, just suck it up". I won't bother saying what I'd like to do to people who say that.
Ok that's made me think of another topic (those comments, not the bodily harm I'd like to do to them), but I'm going to save that for later, I think I've bored my visitors enough. :)

The Beginning

I have to point out to the people who know about this blog already and who know me from other social networks, I have a hard time keeping things like this updated on a regular basis. It's very hard for me to focus sometimes and my train of thought tends to jump the rails.
I think a good way to start this off would be to write about why I started this blog and what I hope to accomplish with it. **WARNING** This blog will occasionally contain adult content and language.

As you can see by the title, I have PTSD. I am also the spouse of an Army Vet who suffers with symptoms of PTSD.  Why "Through the Lense" in the title? I'm a new Independent film director and graphic artist, so that was my artsy fartsy way of letting people know I'll mostly be talking about my experiences in those fields while dealing with this disability.
First and foremost, this blog is for therapeutic purposes. I'm hoping by writing about those thoughts and experiences, it'll help me to get things out and deal with them. So I'm really not going into this expecting to have hundreds of people following me and reading my ramblings.

However, the other thing I hope to accomplish with this blog is to help others who may be suffer from symptoms of PTSD, or know someone who does. I don't claim to have all the answers, it's all still very new to me (being diagnosed and being a spouse of someone who deals with it as well) so I'll be learning along the way.

Which brings me to something very important and kind of a conundrum I'm facing... since I'm more or less in the public's eye, albeit a small community of Horror fans, artists, and filmmakers, how much do I share? God knows I would love to go off on some of the bullshit I deal with, but the last thing I want to do is slam people on a public social network.
So bear with me as I try to find the right words to talk about these things. It may not always make sense or might come across as cryptic, but I will be honest and upfront about things. I'll just have to find a way to do it that doesn't hurt others or make me look like an asshat. Because the one thing I've learned about mental illness, not everyone will understand what you're going through and won't take the time to think about the "why" something is being said. It's easy for some people to blame and bad mouth others over those things, and I certainly don't want to mirror those exact things that piss me off.

For those of you taking the time to read this and who are interested in following me here, thank you!